


and he deserved much better than dirt

by bampowwow



Series: the journey that is called life [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Heavy Angst, Hopeful Ending, Hurt No Comfort, Hydra (Marvel), Hydra Peter Parker, Miles Morales is a sweetie, Not Beta Read, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, but was in cryo for a while, idk what im doin folks, ignore oc he's just a plot thing i made up on the spot, or maybe a little comfort, peter is like what forty or something
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2020-12-28 00:03:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21127475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bampowwow/pseuds/bampowwow
Summary: HYDRA was the Arachnid's whole world,until it wasn't.





	1. winter

The sound of snow being crushed underneath heavy boots filled the empty parking lot, the Arachnid didn’t need to see to know where it’s target is currently hiding, it’s senses sharp enough to pick up the loud thump, thump, thump of the target’s heartbeat, how the older man tries to calm his breathing but fails quite miserably, every sharp intake shakes with fear fills his ears alongside the booming heartbeat.

The nearly empty parking lot filled with sudden quiet, any sound of crunching snow stills as well as the target’s breaths, the sharp cold air is coiled with the heavy tense atmosphere makes it nearly impossible for any normal human being to breath, but the Arachnid wasn't human nor was it normal, but only a mere weapon to fight for HYDRA and to die for HYDRA, as things should be, it thinks.

A sudden shift of clothing breaks the quiet tense atmosphere when the target peaks from behind the car he used for cover, his eyes meet snow and few of late workers’ cars but no masked assassin covered in dark spandex and leather is in sight, perhaps he gave up and decided to look elsewhere? A breath of relief finally broke through the mans chapped lips, a weight of anxiety and fear lifted from his chest.

Now that he can think clearly he knows he has to deliver the USB stick to the given address before the assassin finds him, his cover has already been blown considering the fact they sent not just a trained assassin, but the damn Arachnid himself, who has been hunting him for the past two hours, but had it not been for the sudden increase of bystanders in hells kitchen’s streets, he’d probably be dead right now.

Standing up, the target quickly stood up from his cover, the cracks and aches in his joints that whined in protest going unnoticed as the target tried to make a run for it, but the moment he took a second step a loud gunshot echoed throughout the dark night, a shuddering gasp was taken before the very familiar sound of a body dropping followed, the Arachnid lowered itself from its web before gracefully flipping onto the snow below, just five feet away from the body.

As it made its way forward there was still a heart thumping from it’s target, the sound of blood gushing and oozing rapidly from just below his stomach lining sped the Arachnid with it’s movements. As it made its way to the target, it now got a clear shot of his face, sure it’s already seen the targets face from the picture it’s handler has shown it but seeing it up close makes it all the more real. It always does.

The target was an older man, Felix Staffan, nearing his sixties with already graying hair, stress lines wrinkle his pale and clammy skin, even in the cold winter air, snowflakes already making home on his clothes and hair, a crimson puddle surrounds his torso, increasing by the minute as he takes slow shallow breaths, failing to stop the bleeding with old shaky hands.

Pausing for just a moment to stare unwillingly at the scene, a sudden twist and squeeze took hold of it's chest, or more specifically it's heart.

**______**

_Snowflakes descend upon Uncle Ben’s splayed greying hair and on his leather coat that he’d hastily threw on when running after his upset nephew, the small snowflakes started creating a thin layer on top of his laying form._

_Shallow breaths and loud weeping echoing against the walls surrounding them, he looks down and watches as his Uncle Ben struggles to breath through the searing pain he's experiencing, Peter watches uselessly as he tries putting pressure on the gun wound trying to reassure his uncle that help is on the way._

_Oh god._  
_ Oh my god._

_What has he done?_

_Even through the snot and tears, Peter tries to speak, “P-pleas- please Uncle Be-en, you- you-cant- you cant leav- leave m- m- me!” His throat constricts unwillingly before he pushes through it, “I- I- I kn-ow yo- you- you wanna close yo- your eyes but-but jus- just keep ‘em op- open for me.. Please.”_

_He drags his Uncle’s head onto his lap before bringing one back to his wound. Perhaps to his Uncle they're faint but to Peter the loud shrieks of sirens finally head their way, relief floods through his senses before he’s brought back to his Uncle calling him. “..Pete, look- look at me..” Peter looks down at him, using one bloody hand to caress his Uncle’s oh so pale face._

_His Uncle gives him a tight smile, “ ‘s.. gonna be ‘kay, Pete’.” All Peter could manage was a small nod before he continues, “You.. an’ May.. are gon’ be a’igh’..” Peter could swear he felt his heart ripped itself apart into a million pieces._

_Frantically shaking his head, he tried correcting his Uncle, “A-a- a- and you to- too!” he let go of the wound for a moment and used them both to cup Uncle Ben’s face, “Once- once this over.. we’ll get hot choc-chocolate, okay..?” his voice dropped down into a whisper at the last part._

_He heard the sirens drowning his head as he stared back at his Uncle’s gaze, the sickening scent of iron filling his nostrils, Uncle Ben’s cold, delicate face cradled in between his clammy palms, his eyes look so, so far away._

_Peter could feel his vocal cords shred,_

**______**

The Arachnid stumbles onto it’s knees, it’s hands shaking involuntarily, as it tries to make sense of what's happened, it belatedly realizes it’s senses have been dialed up to an eleven.

The sharp scent of iron stuffs its nose painfully, it could taste the blood painting the snow a couple feet from it, the sound of cars just a few miles away are suddenly blaring into it's ears, late night party goers laughing and talking all at once gives Arachnid a splitting headache,

Arachnid faintly realizes the stuttering heartbeat of it’s target is absent.

And then everything went black.


	2. italian spaghetti

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a new friend is made as well a sudden discovery that will expand a small world.

The Arachnid woke up to soft murmurs and the luscious scent of food, not daring to open its eyes it tried assessing where in god’s name it ended up, coming into sudden realization after sniffing around that it was no longer cold and that the Arachnid was laying on top of the most softest surface it has ever laid upon.

Judging by the warm atmosphere and bustling about that it ended up at some type of shelter, the scent of warm food making his stomach growl reminds the Arachnid of how starving it is, now suddenly wondering how long has Arachnid been asleep for? It managed to grab a snack before having to leave immediately for the mission a couple hours before dinner, knowing _-or rather now, it_ _had thought at the time- _that it would be back just in time for breakfast. 

Arachnid deduced that two or three days is most likely, and then promptly damning it’s inability to thermoregulate, the Arachnid finally decided to prop itself on both elbows, hearing a quiet gasp and a heartbeat heading its way, it already preparing for confrontation and feigned a yawn.

A dark skinned boy stopped right beside him and gave him the most kindest smile, “Hey man! my name’s Miles.” the Arachnid tried to greet him back, but a weak rasp is all its parched throat could manage, the boy- _ Miles _ , huffed in concern and amusement. “Here, take this.” Arachnid looked down at a tray of food being offered to it, taking the tray from Miles _ ’ _ offering hands as it flashed him a charming smile. “It’s one of the Parker’s special and quite famous, Italian sausage spaghetti sauce and baked garlic bread.” He gave Arachnid a teasing wink.

Arachnid sniffed the food for caution but when it’s spider sense remained quiet it decided to just fuck it and took a large bite out of the delicious bread. 

Miles got up, telling Arachnid that he’ll be right back with a glass of water for it, Arachnid simply nodded, quietly watching his retreating back.

Now that it’s got some time to itself Arachnid looked at its surrounding watching all kinds of people milling about, chatting about mundane things, a sudden dread took hold of the Arachnid it balanced the tray on one hand and tried to search its pouches, _ fucking shit, _ it cursed, whoever found the Arachnid had changed it out of its gear and mask _ . _

All it were wearing was an oversized black turtleneck and used ripped jeans, it couldn't help the insecure feeling of vulnerability wash over.

Huffing in annoyance it placed the tray back on its lap and decided it’d be best if it were to get some food in its belly before plotting what comes next.

The Arachnid grabbed the fork and stuffed its cheeks full with spaghetti, looking down at it’s meal a sudden rush of nostalgia settling into its gut.

The fork suddenly clanked as the Arachnid forced the spaghetti down its throat and covered its mouth with a shaky palm.

**______**

_ Uncle Ben grinned as he handed both Aunt May and Peter’s plates of spaghetti, “I shall introduce you both, as a tribute to my lovely wife, May,” a light blush painted her cheeks as she rolled her eyes, Peter sent her a teasing grin, “The special Italian sausages spaghetti sauce, with a few mild alterations here and there.” He quickly set his own plate down and took his seat on their small round table, right across Aunt May. _

_ Peter immediately started digging into the food, “Mmm! When did you learn to cook this, Uncle Ben?” as he looked at his uncle, Peter took a sip of his apple juice. _

_ His Uncle Ben gulped down some of his wine before grinning, “ Ah well, I may or may not have passed by a garage sale after work saw some books on sale and decided to bring them home with me.” Peter’s eyes widen at the confession, completely oblivious to his Aunt lightly smacking his Uncle’s arm failing to shush him. _

_ Uncle Ben’s grin grew at the way Peter’s eyes lit up behind his round glasses, even May couldn’t help but ignore all else and internally gush at her kid’s expression. _

_ May feigned annoyance as Ben rubbed her arm consoling, “Well, we were gonna tell and give them to you tomorrow, since it is your birthday,” she rolled her eyes at Ben’s shit eating grin,” tomorrow but, oh well. Happy birthday Pete!” _

**______**

Gasping, Arachnid realized that instead of coming back to a sensory overload there was only Miles rubbing soothing circles on <strike>his</strike> its back, rambling on about whatever the hell is on his mind while the Arachnid feels like this is what all its targets felt in their last moments, every inhale not enough to soothe it’s tight lungs and the deep shivers only making it’s chest tighten every agonizing second.

“Hey it’s gonna be alright, just focus on my voice and breathing, can you do that?”

It immediately followed the order and took a long, deep breath before sharpening its hearing to pick apart every syllable that leaves Miles’ mouth.

“I’m sure a glass of water will help with that throat of yours, huh?”

The Arachnid took the glass of water that it was handed and took it’s sweet time drinking. 

Senses picking up every little thing from Miles, from the boy’s odd but lulling rambling to his steady and warm fingers that drew small circles on its back, the Arachnid couldn't help a small shiver at the unfamiliar but welcomed sensations.

Once it finished drinking Miles took the glass putting it safely on the ground before he turned and back to the Arachnid, he removed his hand, _ <strike>it had to fight every muscle in its body to avoid a frown forming</strike>, _“When I came back your tray ended up on the floor but there are some leftovers left if you want any, um, actually I never really caught your name?”

“Peter.”

The Arachnid froze at its own behavior, as if whatever imagery flashes weren’t enough it’s starting to mess with its functions, HYDRA will not be pleased.

Oh who was it kidding? It’s taken longer than one day to finish a mission and if it were being honest, it wouldn't be surprised if HYDRA realizes that its become defective and replaced it with a more efficient weapon, they weren't able to recreate its abilities, _ something that even the Arachnid doesn't know how _ , but how long till they do? Perhaps two months from now, maybe even a week and everything can change but frankly the Arachnid couldn't help but _ feel _ .. _ Something _.

yeah, it wasn't gonna even try and touch whatever the hell_ that _was.

This. This is definitely not good.

But Miles’ voice and smile was so kind that something swelled in the Arachnids chest that for even just one second, here, sitting on the softest material he’s had the chance to experience next to Miles, surrounded by worn walls with all sorts of children's doodles hanging off them, in a building that doesn't reek of iron or rusts but of delicious spaghetti sausages and clean air.

“It’s nice to meet you, Peter. I’m Miles!”

  
Maybe <strike>Peter</strike> the Arachnid can enjoy this while it lasts.


	3. fly away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the bird leaves the nest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO I REALIZED I NEVER EXPLAINED THE TIMELINE, this takes place a little before winter soldier, before HYDRA was revealed and Bucky escaped, Infinity war and Endgame don't exist here cause I cant deal with that and maybe cause im a little lazy
> 
> also I’m gonna be updating random things here and there so don’t mind me just polishing things here and there

Miles brought his hand up to his chin, “I’m sure I’ve finished showing you the tour but I feel like there's something else I'm forgetting..” Miles glanced at the Arachnid before snapping his fingers. “Oh yeah, I need to give ya back your stuff!”

The Arachnid’s eyes nearly light up at that, before they narrowed dubiously at the Miles back while he led them down a hall. “What _ did _you do with my belongings anyway?”

"Just had them confiscated." Peter couldn't repress a scoff in time and Miles glanced backwards with a raised brow. “Dude you literally were carrying like what? Eight, maybe ten different kinds of knives and daggers! I had no idea if you were a crazy person until you woke up, and I didn't wanna endanger anyone here!” He started waving his hands around.

"Oh!" Miles abruptly stopped in front of a locker. "Here we are."

Peter raised an eyebrow as Miles took out a key. “Then why bring me here at all?”

Without looking back Miles shoved the key in the lock and replied without hesitation. “Because I didn't want you to freeze to death? Duh.” surprise caused the Arachnid to stare at the Miles with a does not compute face but before any of Miles’ words were fully processed he turned around and handed Peter his shoes, clothes and bag of knives as Miles grin grew five times as he watched Peter fumble with his stuff.

“Just don’t take the knives out when you're around others okay? You don't seem like the type who appreciates being under the spotlight.” 

Peter’s lips twitched a little. “And you would be right, thank you for.. Everything. I’m going to just..rest for the rest of the day.” 

Before Peter could go Miles stopped him, “ Oh yeah! I’ll be back tomorrow morning with my friend, MJ, I want you two to meet and I think you’ll really like her, she’s cool, so you promise to stick around?” 

Peter stared for a second before he nodded, “I promise.”

“Great!” Miles saluted Peter as he watched the pale brunette give him a last nod and walked back to the gymnasium.

A little girl ran up to him. “Miles I can't find my Iron Man!” Miles crouched down to eye level with her as she pouted.

Miles made a mock gasp, “Let’s go find him then, yeah?” He took the girl’s hand before giving Peter one last glance and the two headed off the opposite direction.

  
  
  


The Arachnid spent the rest of the day people while it tried to make sense of the inappropriate behavior it was exhibiting with Miles earlier today and so far it couldn't come up with a logical explanation, it tried convincing itself that it was all an act to take advantage of Miles and his naivety and it was all simply improvising but even it knew that was a stretch. 

But then there was everything that HYDRA had taught it, it was a weapon and weapons were not like the agents that it’d works for, it doesn't have any morals or emotions but just the need to please and serve HYDRA and its Handlers _ and maybe some shame whenever it would slip up but that has all been for HYDRA _.

And here was the Arachnid, making friends with random civilians that in the past would not have spared them any mind and would execute without hesitation.

Once it turned into night time it came to a chilling realization,_ It had memories of a past with no HYDRA. _

The Arachnid had only known HYDRA as it’s creator and purpose, but the memories resurfacing are all the evidence it needs that all that HYDRA has taught it has been a lie._ All. A. Damn. Lie _. 

Once upon a time it was once like Miles, a boy with an _ Aunt and Uncle- May and Ben! _ All those wipes had been HYDRA’s attempts at erasing its- no _ , His, he’s not a weapon, _His memories and to what? To trick him into thinking there was nowhere else to turn to? To ensure compliance? Both reasonings were definite possibilities knowing HYDRA.

But then there's the second issue, where else could he run to? Staying here would endanger all these people that Miles is trying hard to protect..

His Uncle Ben could be gone but there was still May, she could still be around, Miles had mentioned The Parker Recipe for the Italian spaghetti that Ben had made, how many years ago? Peter can’t remember his birthday so who knows how long he’s been missing as HYDRA’s personal puppet but that could only leave May to be the only other person to pass down the recipe, which then means… _ she’s been here before. She could be here in the city. _

He- _Peter, _comes to a final decision before he swiftly, but quietly reached under the mattress for his black combats before shoving them on and tying the laces making sure to tighten the buckle straps, Peter grabbed his holsters and slipped his knives in their holsters before proceeding to make his way across the gymnasium very careful not to trip on anyone's belongings in the dark.

He glanced up and eyes meeting a blue and white banner, in white bold letter was an acronym,

_ FEAST _.

He casts a longing look at the large banner, he promised Miles that he would meet his friend but now that isn't an option, he knows the truth and chances are HYDRA won’t stay in the dark too long before they start hunting him down for his betrayal.

Just as he made his way to the building’s front desk a flash of silver caught the corner of his eye, glancing down he saw a plaque with _ her _name.

_ ‘In memory of May Parker _

_ And her enduring spirit.’ _

**____________________**

_ “When you help someone, you help everyone.” _

…

_ Aunt May.. _

..

_ ‘-Happy birthday Pete!’ _

_ Aunt May! _

His lips wobble as a single tear slips down his cheek in a last minute warning before the dam breaks, a stream of salty tears creates two tracks down his skin and a weak sob push past his lips.

HYDRA had won, because now Peter truly had nothing to crawl back to.

As Peter doubled over, muffled sobs kept coming and the burning tears never dried, in all his decades of his miserable existence, this pain was far worse than he’s ever had to endure.

This has made things more complicated.

  


**______**

_ One Year Later. _

Peter continued to run through the maze of stinking alleyways as his spidey sense continued to buzz irritatingly, he skidded to a stop as he heard three armed Hydra agents attempt to cut him off, the click of their guns and pounding heartbeats alerting him of their distance.

Just ten minutes ago Peter had been on a walk on a mission to dumpster dive for supplies when his spidey sense went off, Peter was caught in a crowd when his senses honed in on two groups of four HYDRA agents sandwiching him. He threw on his hood before slipping into a passing alleyway and broke into a sprint and sudden shouts followed after. 

Back to the present, Peter paused and assessed his situation, they all had pistols, one of the eight agents on his left had a rifle strapped to his back. His spider sense spiked,_ Duck!, _ Peter ducked down and the pops of pistols shooting and bullets ricocheting filled the area along with civilians hearing the commotion started to panic and scream, running from the danger, Good. _ That makes his job easie _ r _ , _and used his strength to grab one of the Agents and toss him towards his partner, slamming both against the wall, spider sense buzzed and without looking Peter flipped sideways dodging four bullets before pulling out two throwing knives, twirling them between his deft fingers and threw them at both Agents throats, an Agent threw herself at Peter as he dodged her vicious punches and kicks, and continued to until she tired herself out and grabbed her arm, flipping her around as if she were paper thin and threw her down on concrete, he crouched over her and using brute strength to smash her skull under his palm against rough pavement, blood soaked his hand and crawled underneath his dirty nails, the last agent took out his rifle and began to fire, Peter jumped in all sorts of directions, twisting his lithe body in a graceful manner, and once it clicked, finally running out of bullets. Peter landed before the Agent and with a single punch he killed the man upon impact, shattering his ribcage into smithereens.

He heard groaning behind him and realized that the other two Agents were still alive.

Ripping his knives out the two deceased Agents throats, Peter made his way to the two weakened Agents before two heartbeats entered the alleyway and made their way to his direction, cursing, Peter decided two HYDRA agents weren’t worth the hassle then jumped up high and scaled the wall leaving behind only a couple of faint bloody handprints.

He’s gonna need to find new clothes. Again.

While hopping on top of rooftops he could hear a gasp and someone exclaim, “_Holy_ _Shit._ Steve look, they're_ HYDRA.”_

Peter dropped down into another alley threw his hoodie into a dumpster, making sure to wipe his hands before ducking into a busy crowd and decided it was best to head straight home

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOPS wrong notes, we’re still going don’t worry guys :^)

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly haven't a clue what's going on, but all aboard the angst train motherfrickers!!


End file.
